The Clean Panty Thread Vol. 2

Hmmmm......

The kittens now let me sit outside with them while they eat. At this rate they might trust me by next summer.

Speaking of animals, my bird fell off the perch, swing, or something last night and woke me up because he started freaking out. It isn't the first time he's done it, but every time he does it's like he can't find his way back to a perch, and then panics. I don't know if it's because it started storming, he was having nightmares about bird zombies, or what. I decided to buy him a more sturdy swing. This one's a rope swing. I put it in his cage just now, and he hasn't touched it yet. At least he doesn't seem to be afraid of it, though. We'll see.

I'm such a sucker for animals.

Just don't start hording them.

Quote :

Last year, the average person walked four miles making their bed.

That is one big bed.

I never make my bed.

DonnaKat wrote:

I never make my bed.

Me, neither.

I also don't wear makeup.

As for the geep, they couldn't call it a shoat because the word shoat is already in use. A shoat is a weaned piglet.

Who went around fingerprinting all the drop bears? And why?

Maybe koalas are prone to stealing.

I wish I had a koala. Koalas are cute.

Happy birthday, Lady Nola!!!

Is it Em's birthday?? Happy, happy m'dear!! I hope it's a lovely one!

Something for Nay:




These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, hehehehe

______________________________​____________________
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
______________________________​____________________

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )

A:Depends how much you've been drinking.
______________________________​____________________

Q:I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
______________________________​____________________

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK )

A: What did your last slave die of?
______________________________​____________________

Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )

A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not
... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
______________________________​____________________

Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA )

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
______________________________​___________________

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do...
______________________________​____________________

Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is
Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
______________________________​____________________

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
A: You are a British politician, right?
______________________________​____________________

Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal.
______________________________​____________________

Q:Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
______________________________​____________________

Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
______________________________​____________________

Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA )

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
______________________________​____________________

Q:Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )

A: Only at Christmas.
______________________________​____________________

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

The questions about Australia were funny. Some people are too dumb to leave their houses, let alone travel to other countries.

Thank you, Donna and Sami for the birthday wishes!

Speaking of fingerprints earlier in this thread. I recently had to get fingerprinted myself. I had signed up to do some substitute teaching until I find a job, and you often have to get printed when you work with kids. I actually ended up deciding not to go through with the subbing jobs, it wasn't what I decided would really work for me, but that's beside the point.

Anyway, when I was getting printed, the lady doing it kept commenting on how my fingerprints weren't like most people's, therefore making it hard to get a good reading. She showed me someone else's prints to compare. I guess in addition to the circular grooves that make up most people's prints, I also have some vertical creases on top of those too.

It cracks me up thinking about. Like I don't have enough stuff in my life that makes me feel inadequate. Now I have abnormal fingerprints?!! A girl just can't win!

DonnaKat wrote:

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )

A:Depends how much you've been drinking. This is such a common question, you have no idea!
______________________________​____________________
Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA )

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. Honestly, is Geography a dead subject in the US? ______________________________​____________________
Q:Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets. hahahaha An outright lie! ______________________________​____________________
Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. Word!
______________________________​____________________

These answers make Australians sound like such smartasses.

LadyNOLA wrote:

Like I don't have enough stuff in my life that makes me feel inadequate. Now I have abnormal fingerprints?!! A girl just can't win!

That just makes you even more unique!

LadyNOLA wrote:

These answers make Australians sound like such smartasses.

Because you are.

I haven't seen the stray kittens since yesterday morning. I don't mind it if someone took it upon themselves to catch the kittens and place them into a good home. After all, that takes the burden and the stress off of me, and I'd be happy knowing that.

It's the "not knowing" that's bothering me. I don't know if they're okay, or if something bad has happened to them.

Put out some tuna, DK.

I've been shelling hot chestnuts. The outer skin on my fingertips are all torn up. My fingerprints have vertical and diagonal grooves and fuzzies and cuts in addition to my usual. Complete mess.

I love drop bears.

The fluffy kitten came back last night. AND, I think I might have found mama cat. I was perusing on-line, and found her on the HSUS website. They said she was turned in on Nov 8, which jives with when I first turned her in on Nov 4.

And this makes me laugh....so wrong, yet so true....

Nay wrote:

Australians graduate from Preschool with a Degree in Smartassery.

You deserve all the nastiness your kids produce.

So the Drop Bear attacks are true? They must have done something to spook the cows so much.

Would I lie?

Yes. And why? Because you are Australian, and the rest of the world does not understand you. After all, why should we trust you when your seasons don't match ours? You're not going into winter and that makes us suspicious. It isn't normal. You should be talking about a white Christmas, and not planting flowers and frolicking about in the meadows.

An on another note...Time Travel: Doctor Who or a Ferengi getting stuck in a wormhole? Discuss.

The Ferengi would set up a booth and sell maps.

The McEucalyptus is back:

The good Doctor would stop to buy a map and use his screwdriver to reacue the Ferengi, who would then try to charge the Doctor for parking the Tardis in HIS wormhole.