Butler Boot Camp

I have spent a good part of my day laid up with some stupid kind of virus so I have been bored. It got me to thinking if I were able to have Butler in a Bootcamp, what would I teach him and how. I will start but I hope everyone chimes in with their own version of Butler Bootcamp--even if you just want to throw him down and teach him a few things behind closed doors.

Here's mine:

Goals:
1. To teach him that normal life is just as much as fun as partying every night.
2. To teach him what a real woman is. This does not involve sex since I have no desire to sleep with him. I will be treating him like I do my BFF.
3. To help him work on his craft more--acting and producing.

Location: He can stay in the roommate's old suite. He will have his own bathroom and kitchen privileges but he probably won't need the kitchen since I will do all the cooking.

I am not much of one for routine but here are some of the things he can expect.

1. Every so often he will have coffee on the back porch, with or without me. Squirrels, birds and a rabbit or two live there. Even with my ADD I can sit there for a long time and just watch nature. During this time, the goal is for him to meditate and think. I wish I had time to do it more.
2. An acting coach and dialect coach will be provided, at the Butler's expense, of course. He will regularly work with these coaches to improve his craft.
3. He will consult with me on future projects. I am no Hollywood insider but I hope that I would have been smart enough to tell him to run from "The Bounty Hunter."
4. He will do normal things like
*Going to Wal-Mart
*Eating pizza and wings with the buddies while watching sports
*Playing board games
*Laundry!
No red carpets, no smoozing events. However, karaoke will be allowed.
5. Meals will be provided. However, I do make more pies than cupcakes so he may have to adjust his taste for desserts. I am willing to try new dishes that he may suggest. However, sugary soft drinks are not allowed in my house.
6. I don't expect him to be a celibate saint so he has a weekend pass once a month to do whatever and whoever he pleases.

The goal:
I hope he would learn the joys of life
*Calling your BFF in the middle of the night to meet you on the river so you can gaze at a full moon.
*Laughing at little people as they play hide and seek in the back yard.
* Hanging with you buddies and watching sports knowing they don't have any agenda or want anything from you.
*Chasing a rainbow as it the rain drizzles on you in the sunshine--my absolute favorite thing to do even as an adult. I do it every time I think there may be one.

There are a lot more I could list.

Of course, we all know this is nothing that interests the Butler. It's just a thought.

kayanne wrote:

4. He will do normal things like
*Going to Wal-Mart

Tht is cruel and unusual punishment.

Didn't he used to drink and get arrested when he lived in the real world?

Quote :

Tht is cruel and unusual punishment.

LOL! I tried to make it without going to Wal-Mart. They are the only place open in the middle of the night in these parts. Sometimes I just gotta have something at 3 a.m.!

LegoJulie wrote:

Didn't he used to drink and get arrested when he lived in the real world?

Good point. I don't think he has gotten arrested in a while, unless you count that pap punch thing that he got out of.

These demands might be why Gerry is still single. Y'all are scaring the crap out of him.

Nay wrote:

5. Washmycarcleanmyovenweedmygardencookmydinnermarkmypapersdomygroceriesentertainmeservemeicecoldbeer

He has enough money to hire a car detailing team, kitchen workers, gardeners, chefs, starving teacher-wannabes, chef's assistants, bands and masseuses, and ex-Chippendale butlers.

I mean no offence, but I am, as usual, the Devil's Advocate (it being my nature to question everything) so I have to ask one (OK more than one) question.


I totally understand the frustration of him making bad choices in the movies he accepts, so yeah, he could use better advice in those maters. But that's up to him. I sympathise with worry that he isn't taking the best care of himself. But he's an adult who can decide that for himself.

But

Why would anyone not married to him want to turn him (or any other larger-than-life image) into just another (granted---much more attractive) guy-next-door? Sure, he would be a perfect dream date, but wasn't it the dangerous, bad boy glint in his eyes that attracted most of us? Why turn it into a mild, well mannered twinkle?

I was thinking that myself, Sharabella. There are some things he could improve on...just as there are things we could all improve on....but I wouldn't want to completely tame a man. That would make him rather boring, I think.

Well, I like a guy next door type and maybe that makes me strange. I have enough drama and excitement in my job. In my downtime, I like to just hang out with my friends and family.

It seem that a lot of men I meet try to convince me they are "mysterious" and wild. It gets old for me. I dated some men who thought because of their jobs, position or money that they were interesting. It was old to me before I turned 21.

And just because he is the guy next door doesn't mean he is tame. My BFF and I do a lot of normal things but we also have a lot of adventure. I don't think anyone would call us tame, especially him.

If you read my list, you will see the Butler will have his meals cooked for him and he will have a weekend to sow his wild oats. In my experience, that's what men want--someone to take care of them but who will also let them be themselves no matter how wild they are. Great sex completes the picture, of course but my boot camp is celibate and not intended for romantic purposes. I don't know if the Butler has found or ever will find someone who will want him for him and not because of who he is. He admits he doesn't do well with every day life so whoever he finds will have to have a strong foundation herself or she will get sucked up in his crazy world. But he needs to work on himself some first, imo. If I can help prepare him for the woman of his dreams, my house is open but it will cost him!

All of this is my opinion and just for fun, btw. I don't have a clue as to who he really is and I sometimes wonder how well he knows himself. I see him as a person who is kind of lost.

Peter Pan's Lost Boys in Never Never Land. Exactly! Never grew up, never wanting to grow up.

Could you see the shock of people if Gman went into a Walmart nowadays? I'm sure in his early years, he had to hit some of the cheaper places, but I bet for his 'image' there are places he's not allowed, that he actually has no interest in. He doesn't have to clean after himself, so no cleaning products. All other clothing, electronics, and food are pretty much designer or bought by his PA, when necessary.

Does he even go to a regular store? Not a boutique, but a department store? Probably not.

I doubt he does any 'regular' shopping at all, otherwise the paps would have caught at least one or two pictures because they're snapping pics of other celebs doing normal shopping all the time. I notice a lot of celebs seem to like Whole Foods. The paps must stake out the LA location.

Quote :

...but I bet for his 'image' there are places he's not allowed...

Hehe....his "image". Sometimes I think he'd be better off spotted in a Wal Mart then some of the places he's been. That S&M club "Voyeur" in LA, for example....

....or playing tonsil sweep with rank strangers. LOL!

I'm grossed out.

Funny how there were comments on some other boards calling her "fat" and "old". First off, she's age appropriate....I freaking hate the double standard. Gerry is pushing 41, for crying out loud. And secondly, she's proportionate. I hate to see what these people consider thin....probably something akin to a 10 year old boy. We can't all be 10 feet tall Amazon women.

I know there were some pics on that Jared Leto thread where they claim that is Gina, but in all honesty I'm not even sure it's her in those pics. And even if it is, a woman wearing baggy clothes, skirts that go to the floor with flats is ALWAYS going to look fatter. I know that from experience.

I just don't get some people. Period.

And I'm not even saying they're dating. I know Gerry said they used to date and are just good friends. But platonic or no, raking this woman across the coals because she happens to be in the vicinity of Gerry is just plain wrong. I'll admit I've been jealous of women who get around the men in the course of my life that I've liked, whether it be an ex-boyfriend, a crush, or whatever. That's only natural. But that doesn't mean I hate her as a person, maybe I just hate that it isn't me.

DonnaKat wrote:

Funny how there were comments on some other boards calling her "fat" and "old". First off, she's age appropriate....I freaking hate the double standard. Gerry is pushing 41, for crying out loud. And secondly, she's proportionate. I hate to see what these people consider thin....probably something akin to a 10 year old boy. We can't all be 10 feet tall Amazon women.

I know there were some pics on that Jared Leto thread where they claim that is Gina, but in all honesty I'm not even sure it's her in those pics. And even if it is, a woman wearing baggy clothes, skirts that go to the floor with flats is ALWAYS going to look fatter. I know that from experience.

I just don't get some people. Period.

And I'm not even saying they're dating. I know Gerry said they used to date and are just good friends. But platonic or no, raking this woman across the coals because she happens to be in the vicinity of Gerry is just plain wrong. I'll admit I've been jealous of women who get around the men in the course of my life that I've liked, whether it be an ex-boyfriend, a crush, or whatever. That's only natural. But that doesn't mean I hate her as a person, maybe I just hate that it isn't me.

Any woman who dates Gerry will have to have a strong backbone! Just about every girl he's ever dated, including the models have been slammed by the mean websites. Even if the girl is 22 years old, 5"10, rail thin with big boobs and legs that never end, she's still gonna get it verbally by jealous women on the net!

I agree, DK, I think she's gorgeous, at least on the outside. Better looking than most runway models.

Amazing double standard, huh. Gman's graying, not always fit, brash, etc, and he's a prince somehow.