Thoughts about Gerry's fandom

I know I've put this under "Personal Feelings About Gerry", but this thread isn't so much about him as about his fandom. However, since his fandom is often (fair or not) a reflection of him, I thought I'd put the thread here for discussion instead of somewhere where it might get buried.

You know, betrayal has to be one of the worst feelings a human being could ever experience. And never in my history of "fandom" have I run across it more than I have in this one. Honestly, I never thought human beings could be so cruel and unfeeling to one another - and all over an ACTOR and his FANSITES. It is utterly shameful and ridiculous behavior...especially for supposedly mature adults. Sites fighting against sites, trying to proselytize and steal members; people getting all worked up over some stupid petty crap like someone starting a movie chat on Justin.tv; getting raked over the coals for posting on IMDB; being publically humiliated on a fansite, repeatedly; being used for your hotel room and left waiting until after 3am while she crashes the Rocknrolla after party and doesn't let you know if she's dead or alive; and the list goes on and on and on. I've had my share of betrayal by Gerry Butler "fans"...but I've stuck with it, because I try to see the best in people and have to think that the majority CAN'T be like that.

I started this forum because I wanted a place for people to go who were sick of being and feeling betrayed and were tired of dealing with all the crap, cattiness and all around backstabbing that tends to happen on a lot of the sites. My vision was for this site to grow and blossom into something special, something the other larger sites didn't seem to have - intimacy and a sense of comfort and closeness.

To be honest, however, lately I've been wondering if all of this is even worth it. I mean, I have so much real life crap I'm dealing with, this is supposed to be fun...right?

I love this forum...really, I do. But on days like today...when I've been betrayed and hurt and feel like I've been used as a punching bag...it's so very tempting to just give it up and let the wolves take over.

Anyone ever feel like that?

You''re preaching to the choir. Unfortunately, I''m not wanted in the other forums hence, no pm''s for me. But hey, there''s always someone else to devote your interest to...

I think as life changes, so do needs, and well, G filled a need I had when another actor wasn''t doing much.

I just like the fact that I can see my friends here, but DK, wherever you go, I''ll go...but not in a stalkerish kind of way.

And I have dealt with cattyness in other groups...mainly single men fan groups. Reality mixes with fantasy and some people can''t discern the difference.

What''s interesting about this...is that I''ve been writing a story about what I see and hear in fandoms...and I''d love to make it a screenplay. So even in the bad, comes good.

I''ve said before, my friend. If it ain''t fun, why do it? It''s not your job. And as a fan site owner, you are prone to being attacked. No one owning a site, is immune from bad apples from other sites.

I''m trying to nip one in the bud before things get bad, as it already did in another fandom. Trying to make good before it gets bad. Not easy, and I walk on eggshells, and I''m not even the owner!

That would be a RIOT, Alice.

As far as you two not being wanted on other forums....F*CK 'EM!

It's THEIR loss.

XO

Nay wrote:

I am not a fan of GB's fandom. I am a fan of The Butler's Pantry and its members.

Me, too!

It's normal for the loud and obnoxious to stick out. Too bad people don't have natural predators that eat the loud and obnoxious first.

The only Gerry fans I have met are those here at the Pantry. I count myself lucky. And thanks for the invitation DK.

Nay wrote:

Thoughts on GB's fandom ...

In my short time in this circle, I've met some honest, funny and generous people. Yet their compassion, measured opinions and harmless humour are often drowned out by the more vocal, vacuous and vicious fans.

My obstinance won't allow me to cease being an active member here at Pantry. Nor will my appreciation of human nature with all of its failings and blessings be overshadowed by the behaviour of a few.

I am not a fan of GB's fandom. I am a fan of The Butler's Pantry and its members.

Well said....and I agree.

Unfortunately....I and a few others still have some anger issues to work out. LOL! IMO, with good reason.

Oh, the stories I could tell.

I think once we vent them out, things will be fine.

LegoJulie wrote:

Nay wrote:

I am not a fan of GB's fandom. I am a fan of The Butler's Pantry and its members.

Me, too!

It's normal for the loud and obnoxious to stick out. Too bad people don't have natural predators that eat the loud and obnoxious first.

The only Gerry fans I have met are those here at the Pantry. I count myself lucky. And thanks for the invitation DK.

So true! If the loud and obnoxious had natural preditors, Rush Limbaugh would just be a pile of poop somewhere. Oh, wait, he already is!

I think for me, I consider myself to be one of the loud and obnoxious however, the difference is that I'm subtle about it!

Kidding aside, what I do is not get so emotionally attached to anybody. That way, they can't have any control over me. I put it in perspective. You can meet people on the internet and some may even become your so called friends. I have a rule I tend to live by. Cyber friends should remain that. The one's who are insecure, threatened, unstable and just all around screwed up will eventually surface and they don't really know it but you will know and then it's time to just move on down the line! Then just say to yourself "I guess it sucks to them."

It's seem to be all about getting attention some times. It's a fear that you will stand out and over shadow them and their views, expressions, whatever.

I don't think anything I just said made sense. I'm having one of THOSE days!

Ger

wow...get that picture, Leo.

I think I would agree with you, Leo. Why spend time doting and supporting a guy, who I really don't know, if I had a real live, breathing one who would need doting and support?

But again, obviously I don't know, because I'm not there...

Leo wrote:

Kids, if I was in a happy marriage or relationship, you wouldn't see me here.

Why would I be gazing at photos of a stranger if I had a husband waiting in my bed?

Marry for LOVE, people....not security or status!

I am happily married, to only one man, ever, for almost 20 years. And we intend to stay married til death do us part. We both married each other for love since we're poor nobodies.

I am a fan of Steve Bacic and Mandy Patinkin. My husband paid for my convention trips and souvenirs. He happily supports my fandom hobby.

I gaze at photos of pretty strangers, male and female. I gaze at photos of pretty landscapes. I gaze at pretty paintings. I gaze at photos of pretty buildings. I gaze at photos of pretty flowers and animals and trees. I gaze at funny photos of just about anything.

Do I want to have sex with Steve or Mandy? No.
Do I want Steve or Mandy for a boyfriend or husband? No.
Do I want to meet Steve and Mandy and talk with them and take pictures with them and collect autographs and see them in performances? Yes.


I'm a fan of actors and movies and TV shows in the same way that football fans are fans of football games and players and coaches. The men who are diehard fans of certain football players would love to meet those players and shake their hands and hug them and take their uniforms. They want to own stuff and meet the idols and brag to their friends "Hey! I met/know so-and-so! I am cool!" I doubt those fans want to have sex with the men they idolize.


I guess being a fan means different things to different people.

Leo wrote:

I know of someone getting married this summer that still calls Gerry "her man."

Spends all her free time on one of his fansites. Must be a small wedding she's planning on.

Kids, if I was in a happy marriage or relationship, you wouldn't see me here.

Why would I be gazing at photos of a stranger if I had a husband waiting in my bed?

Marry for LOVE, people....not security or status!

It's healthy emotionally and mentally to have your "fantasies". You don't have to be "manless" to do that! Men look at pics of sexy women all the time while they are in relationships. I suppose you also think if a man had a "wife" in his bed he wouldn't need to do that! Ha! Get real!

Gerry is an untainable fantasy, the dream, not a substitution for reality. When you cross over that line, then it's time to get some therarpy.

Ger

I'm well aware fantasies are healthy.

And if a man doesn't look at beautiful women even while in a relationship, I would think there's something wrong with him, IMO.

And I "get real" PLENTY!

I am a fan of Steve Bacic and Mandy Patinkin.

Sat next to Mr. Patinkin on a flight back to Denver. Wonderful man!

Ger

I don't think there's anything wrong with being a fan. And wow! You got to sit next to him? How coooool!

Entertainers need fans and I doubt that someone like Dustin Hoffman is going to get a lot of single young women.

I think what Leo and I were saying is that there are fans out there who pay a lot more attention to their fantasy guys than their real guys. And it goes both ways...there are guys who do the same with their fantasy girls...and we don't get it. Some of the things they say and do, is sickening and gross. And some are a bit confusing in what they say and do about the entertainer versus what they say and do in real life. I think there are fans who aren't mentally stable...some of them.

Thanks, Alice.

That's what I was trying to convey.

I was actually gonna delete my post but it was already quoted.

We've got a few war wounds from somewhere else that some people have no clue about.

Well, I've been married 27 years....wonderful husband and two great kids that just graduated from college. I love my Gerry fandom, but my husband knows whose bed I share each and every night.....his!

I've met wonderful people from all over the world. I come here because I love Gerry and the friends I've met along the way. A journey with no destination.

What draws me is all of you....each with their own story to tell. I am not a solitary soul....I have been blessed with many friends outside of Gerry fandom, but I also love my Gerry friends. And I've made some wonderful friendships along the way.

Some of Gerry's sites have their issues.....yes, I have had my feelings hurt more than once.....but, I move on because I come to these sites to HAVE FUN! When it ceases to be fun....then it becomes a chore and a place I don't want to be.
I come here because I discovered that many friends I had at different sites are here and are actually people I like!
Leo, I've known you from the way back days of long fun chats when things were so much less complicated.
Alice...chats and conventions and beautiful hawaiian dancing.
DK ...fun with Buddha baby...lol and chating too.
Gosh, I'm never that long winded....lol. I also miss the days of chat with many of you on this forum.
Anyway....that's all I have to say. Ticks lock and throws it over her shoulder....lol

I love you, sweetheart.

XOXOXOXO

Geranimal wrote:

Sat next to Mr. Patinkin on a flight back to Denver. Wonderful man!

Lucky you! I love his singing.

greyeyegoddess wrote:

I think there are fans who aren't mentally stable...some of them.

There are lots of mentally unstable people in the general population. Any subgroup will have those, the larger the group, the more nuts. Fandoms probably have more nuts, percentage wise, and nuts tend to flock together (pardon me for mixing metaphors).

I like this place. Seems to be nut resistant. Must be all the squirrels.

Yes, I do know there are mentally unstable people in the population...what is strange are the ones in the fandom trying to convince us that they are normal and that their behavior is nothing different than those who are mentally stable.

They sound just like mentally unstable non-fans.
"Yes, I killed my parents. Didn't you?"
"Since when is eating people unusual?"
"That's mine. That's mine, too. And that. And that. And that."
"I practiced on sheep before I got married. Oh, that's a nice dog you have. How does she feel?"
"God told me to do it."
"Why did you walk into my fist?"
"She made me do it."
"Dinner was great." "Bye, now."
"She asked for it."

Like Julie I'm a fan of Steve Bacic, and I thought that it's such a smal fandom that we don't have any nuts - but then I got to thinking ;-)
And I remembered that nuts come in very different flavors ...

Gerry's fandom is pretty big compared to the ones I usually hang out in, but it's funny, on my Kyle Schmid forum, whenever there's trouble, I can almost be sure one person is always involved.

I haven't followed al the threads .. well, any threads actually as my post count will show, but it looks like you're doing a good job Donna.
You've even taken on admins - I'm too control freaky to do that

It still bugs me when a few so called fans of G cut him down constantly...ie...

"a walking V.D"..."ick, he's wearing the jewelry again"..."he looks too fat...too thin...too old."...blah blah blah....

I hate to even re quote them, but my point is....why the HELL are you a fan?

I know the man isn't perfect, but sheesh! These people seem to thrive on critisizing him. Perhaps it makes them feel validated in some twisted way.

*shakes head*

I don't notice his weight gain or loss. It's not important to me. I don't care if he wears jewelry or not.

What's sad about all those who are nit picky....is that they probably have the same problems, or they really aren't "all that" anyway.