Setting the Record Straight

I went to my high school reunion last night. I didn't really hang out with a lot of my graduating class because either my friends were in other grades or in other schools. Plus I only went a 1/2 day my senior year, so I wasn't so involved by that point. I hadn't been to any of the other reunions, but I decided to go this time.

I spoke with this lady for a bit, I don't remember a lot about her but I guess she wasn't very nice because she kept telling me how bad and mean she was in high school. Who knows, maybe we were enemies or something. Anyway, it got me to thinking that it was ironic how she brought that up. Here she was owning up to her mistakes, GROWING UP, and moving on. Which got me to thinking some more...some of this catty stuff going on between Gerry sites is so HIGH SCHOOLISH AND IMMATURE. I mean, come on...high schoolers do this sort of thing, but there comes a time in life when one is supposed to put on the big boy/girl pants, GROW UP, AND MOVE ON.

We got nothing to prove to anyone here. I don't care if we are the "best" site on the web or not, or the "fastest growing" site on the web or not and I'm certainly not going to put myself under any undue stress trying to bicker and compete with other sites as to which one is better. Some love this site, some don't, we're not everyone's cup of tea and that's all right. They don't have to join if they lurk here and don't like what they see. It's all cool.

One thing I do find odd is the amount of spying that goes on between Gerry sites in order to report back "naughty" behavior. It's so high schoolish..."he said", "she said", etc. Recently I found out I was banned from GALS back in Dec 09 for "repeatedly breaking guidelines during my membership" as well as supposedly "bashing" mods on other sites (in Dec 09, apparently). I found this really strange because I hadn't logged onto GALS and maybe not even lurked there for probably a year or so (it took almost 9 months for me to even know I was banned), and to be honest I really hadn't been active on ANY site or message board (other than this one, of course), not even JustJared or IMDB. So I traced back in my mind and the only thing I can figure is they were either spying here or on my personal Twitter account. This forum goes by our rules, not the rules of other Gerry forums and so if other forums want to ban me for that, so be it. And my personal Twitter account is just that...my personal account. It isn't Gerry related, it's me-related and it's going to stay that way.

As for the "bashing" part, I honestly don't remember doing that but I guess mods on some sites feel they're above the rules that they can dish it out, but can't take it.

I'm posting this publically on this thread because I want to set the record straight. I know people lurk here and I know stuff gets reported back and I know many of you are members of other forums - which is fine, I don't have a problem with whatsoever. But since I didn't get a chance to defend myself over there - I was banned without reason or notification, and had to practically drag it out of them before I finally got an answer after contacting four different people - I'm bringing it out into the open here. I want people to hear my side of the story in case they hear things that might cause them to question my reputation as a site owner.

And let me clarify...I'm NOT accusing anyone here of spying and reporting back. I mean "lurkers" from other sites that aren't registered here.

Just wanted to make that clear.

As you know, I just discovered "fandom" a few months ago. I am still in shock at how much energy some people put into it. At one point I was very interested in it myself but I have to admit that my interest has waned significantly, especially in the past two weeks.

It is easily addictive. You can start ignoring your real life for your online life and in the beginning, I was close to doing that. I never want my online life, if I choose to continue to have one, to supersede my real life. I have seen things in fandom that have seriously concerned me. I will use JJ as one example. When I first discovered GB, I read there and sometimes I still do. It is a very acrimonious place and I wonder why do people get so upset? I don't think any of them know GB or even each other. IMDB is the same way. I have tried to avoid looking at them and the other fan sites. I feel sick to my stomach when I see how people are so concerned over a man they don't know and will actually spar with people about who he is dating, whether he is gay or straight and why he is always wearing the same t-shirt and hat.

You are right, DK, it is very high schoolish. I don't know about spies and lurkers personally but it all seems very silly to me. Getting kicked off a fan forum should not be such a big deal when kids are hungry in this world, people are homeless and cancer is still claiming lives every year. If some people would give their time they spend obsessing over GB to fixing some of those problems think of how the world could change.

I have a very busy, very blessed real life that I took for granted before I came to "fandom" because I was hurting from losing so many people I loved. PSILY touched me because of my personal pain. Learning about fandom has made me appreciate my real life. Lately, I feel like I have to give more because so many people in this world would rather obsess over movie stars than volunteer for an hour in their own backyard. I agreed to lead a charity event last week simply because I realize how blessed I am despite the fact my life has been challenging lately. It's not all about me, GB or his fandom. There's a whole world out there that is hurting. I used to try to be a part of the solution. I stopped because I was hurting from my loss--I see that as a selfish mistake-- but that is over now and I have found myself again.

This was a great outlet for me but I am still mulling this fandom. I think if I ever met GB I wouldn't like him very much. In my friends, I look at their hearts and it's important to me to be with people who are just themselves and don't care what others think and that includes me. I see GB as being very "fake" which most of Hollyweird seems to be. His "manwhore" image is not endearing to me at all and I don't see any beauty in that. I realize it could be fake, too, but it is out there. I am turned off to his movies, too, because of what I have learned about his life. And honestly, I think his acting skills have gone down since Dear Frankie. My friends have taken this journey with me they feel the same and are greatly turned off by GB.

And despite what some people on other fandoms think, I believe there is no way in hell GB reads these fan sites. Like you, Nay, I don't think he "gives a flying fig."

I didn't mean to hijack the thread. But your "incident" has led me to think harder about all of this. I thought it would be fun but is becoming stranger every day.

I have to say, this is the first site I have ever participated in. For me it is a place to share a common interest. No different then if that interest were gardening, cooking or going to the movies. GB is an interest to me and I enjoy keeping up with his crazy life. I would compare it to keeping up with my soap General Hospital. It's a nice from of escapism and it is something I don't have to share with the husband and kids, it's just for me. So, I appreciate you all being here, I enjoy the dialog and I wouldn't want you guys to change a thing.

I am shaking my damn head. I received the following email message from Gerard Butler GALS this morning:

Quote :

DonnaKat,

Dr. Em has sent you a new personal conversation entitled "Happy Anniversary!".

Dr. Em said:
======================================================================
DonnaKat,

As of today you've been registered at Gerard Butler GALS for a total of 3 year(s), congratulations!

The Gerard Butler GALS Mod Squad
======================================================================

PLEASE DO NOT REPLY DIRECTLY TO THIS EMAIL!
You can reply to this personal conversation by following the link below:

http://www.gerardbutlergals.com/forums/index.php?app=members&module=messaging§ion=view&do=showConversation&topicID=23797#msg27417

I responded anyway, though I doubt it will do any good because the email goes to Dayna, and she didn't respond to the last email I sent:

Quote :

How ironic that I can't even log in, seeing that apparently I wass BANNED from GALS back in December. Please adhere to my previous wish to DELETE my account. I no longer wish to be affiliated with your site, nor do I wish to receive PM notifications such as these.

WHAT THE HELL DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET MY DAMN ACCOUNT DELETED OVER THERE??

Son of a biscuit, you'd think they'd welcome the chance to delete me once and for all. I don't get it, and I certainly don't get them.

ROFLOL!

That is so twistedly hilarious!

You're being haunted by the ghost of GALS.


Try sprinkling salt, or wee drap of good scotch whisky over your keyboard. (Drink the rest. You may still be contacted from the "other side" but you won't care. )

The latest....

Quote :

Donna ~

I don't know why you received the PM, but will find out how to correct that so it doesn't happen again. We will not however, delete your account as we have banned you, and as such need to keep that status for our records.

Thank you for alerting us that there is a problem with the PM system.

~ D
********
Dayna L. Linton

That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I know several members who had their accounts deactivated/deleted over there, at least two of which had been banned. I wasn't asking to have my posts deleted, only make me that "voyeur" or whatever they do when they delete an account.

I have never, ever in all my days heard of a banned member being denied deactivation of their account. It's kind of counter productive, don't you think? And why on earth would they need to keep me on their records? Are they planning on sueing me for defamation or something?

What a crock of BS.

I believe it's a way for them to tell if you try to sign up again. They have your IP number.

There are ways to get around that, though, if you really care.

But weird they won't let you go. Hmmm....

I think I am completely banned or let go or something. I didn't get one of those announcements...as if I want to associate with people like that, though.

Sounds like they're holding your name and email and IP hostage.

It's okay, Alice....I didn't get an announcement either.

But really, I have no desire to try to re-register over there and if I did, there are definitely ways around the IP address thingy. The only thing I want is for it NOT to say I'm an active member when people see me over there. Hell, they can even list me as BANNED, I don't care. As long as it isn't showing me as a registered, ACTIVE member.