Jokes to share

Geranimal wrote:

It's OK because I'm a blonde.

Confucious say, "Blonde may be blonde on head but be brunette, by cracky!"

Ger

you mean buy the p.... lol....ohhh dear lol

It means anything or anywhere you want it too!

Ger

Geranimal wrote:

It means anything or anywhere you want it too!

Ger

ooookay

couldn't figure out where else to put this link. these are supposed to be real ads, and i guess they are....but they ARE a joke!

http://icanhasinternets.com/2010/05/25-horribly-sexist-vintage-ads/

Don't know whether to laugh at some or be appalled!


But....

I found the "spanking" one kind of sexy.

And I always ask for practical gifts for Christmas and the holidays. I did get a vacuum cleaner from my ex boyfriend for Christmas a few years ago but to his credit, he was hesitant about it. He wanted to get me jewelry but I NEEDED the vacuum cleaner.

I'd laugh if it wasn't so real. For those ladies who are too young to have ever seen adds like these, I'm sure it's a riot. But don't be too confident. Things can still be that way but more subtle and hidden these days. I see hints of it all the time. My husband still thinks he can leave jars out and drop clothes on the floor. I don't mind sharing the responsibilitiy of the household chores, even the majority sometimes since I'm the one who rescues the strays that can make the messes, but I don't pick up after a grown man. That's just wrong on so many levels.

The douches ones just make me shutter, particularly Lysol! OMG! In other words, women were not only blamed for their husbands retracting their affection and emotions away from them but how they smelled, which as you all know how that happens in reality. Just think about that "thing" used for peeing, drip dried and left to marinate in a nasty pair of underwear all day!

You should NEVER douche unless it's ordered for medical reasons! It disrupts the PH of the mucosa and can cause infection and worse odorsl. I found that reality out with a little product called, "Summer's Eve". I thought something had crawled up in me and died and I was up to three or four times a week with that stuff and finally called my doc and was shocked when the first thing he asked me, "You're not douching are you?" When I said yes, he asked me how often then said, "throw that crap out!"

I'm not sure companies who make that stuff don't know that and a woman can become hooked trying to get rid of a smell that is perpetuated by the product. If one must do it, vinegar and water are the best, otherwise, a natural "cleanse" happens monthly.

Make him take a shower or wear a condom. If you think it hurts the mood of the moment, shower with him and make sure it's "clean" yourself. Maybe I missed my calling as a sex therapist.

Sorry if this all falls under the realm of TMI but it's the "medical" side of me that comes out whenever I read hogwash like that. I'm a "naturalist" and I think we use too many chemical concoctions in, around and on our bodies. Now I sound like Tom Cruise!

Sorry to have

Here's a "man" joke.......How can you tell when a man is lying to you????

His mouth is moving!

Quote :

I always ask for practical gifts for Christmas

So do I. I like things like automobiles, furniture and cash!

Ger

I ask for LEGO, puzzles, electronics and computer stuff, toys, jewelry, and expensive or well-loved exotic food. I could be practical and ask for a new car, new house, new driveway, house remodelling, swimming pool, but the non-practical stuff are cheaper so I'm more likely to get those.

I wonder how people would feel if you ask for prescription glasses, teeth braces, dentures, medical bills paid, a piece of college loan paid, new uncracked windshield, new mailbox, lawnmower, generator, new hot water heater, new toilet or tub, or cheaper things like a few pieces of sod, some shingles, cans of paint, paintbrushs, drywall panel, floor tiles, kitty litter, lumber, etc.

After reading the above post, I think this is the appropriate place for the following.

Do not read if you are not a legal adult in your town/city/state/country.

Spoiler:

I know what

Spoiler:

is now.

Nay, Google and Yahoo are wonderful tools.

This is why I love this place. I learn a lot of new things!

I'm not sure everything you learn here is good for you.

That's it! Gerry shaved to do his commercial in Paris! I wonder if it will be one of those romanitcally set near the Eiffel Tower for perfume, a watch, jeans? Could be he's going to do some for a watch like Tiger, Cloony and Pitt have done? Trying to think of a French watch brand here...Cartier? Just guessing. Bored tonight.

Ger

Clean joke from a Warcraft guildmate:

What has more lives than cats?



Frogs. They croak every night.

Did you know that when a woman wears a leather dress, a man's heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he gets weak in the knees, and he begins to think irrationally???

Ever wonder why?

It's because she smells like a new car.

My new cars never smell like leather.

After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her for a while ... then said,

"You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

She asks ... "What does that mean?"

He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, and Hot".

She smiled happily and said ... "Oh, that's so lovely ... What about I, J, K?"

He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.

I got a joke... lol... And this happened to me ...

We are walking in the mall in Oklahoma city. And my daughter noticed a lot of pregnant women walking around. She said, "Mommy are those ladies having babies?"
I said, "Yes, sweetheart."
She said, "In their tummies right?"
I said, "Yes."
She kept looking at them and then looked at me kinda stranged; glanced back and forth. Finally, She said, "Mommy, where is your baby? In your butte?"
Everybody around us heard and laughed... I had to laugh too... Out of mouth of babes....