Why does Gerard Butler's bulge look so... unimpressive?

Pics at link. Funny article.

http://www.celebitchy.com/186432/why_does_gerard_butlers_bulge_look_so_unimpressive/

Last week, no one seemed to care about Skinny Gerard Butler and his Pecks of Tautness. (sidenote: “Taut” is one of the words that I need to use more, right?) Why didn’t you care? Why didn’t you love him enough to comment about his pecs and his thunder-concealing wetsuit?

Anyway, as we’ve been chronicling over the past year, Gerard Butler has slowly and steadily lost the chunk. Specifically over the past few months, he’s been training for this surf movie, Of Mavericks and Men. Gerard plays the surfing elder in this one, and yet it seems like he’s the lead, considering he’s getting endlessly pap’d in various stages of dong-y undress. These are newish photos from the weekend, and Gerry looks… well…

From the waist up, I love him, even with the uneven scruff. I like his naturally curly hair, I like how good his arms look, I like his taut pecs and just how healthy and great he looks. And then I get to what’s below the waist…

…Now, I don’t want to be one of those “OMG, it looks so small in a wetsuit!” people, but really, his bulge is unimpressive. If Jon Hamm was in this wetsuit, his bulge would be assaulting and then seducing our eyes. The Hamm Dong would be slithering half-way down his leg. Gerry just looks… like the dong doesn’t match his big frame. I’m just saying… if you’re going to make a movie in which the male characters are in wetsuits all the time, maybe you should do something to ensure that we’re not taken out of the film because we’re staring at the unimpressive bulge.

That being said, I would (as always) still hit it. After all, it is the motion of the ocean, not the size of the boat.

Rude article.

Is the writer really talking about genitals?

I think it's just the way the wetsuit lays. She should take a look at those pics posted awhile back of him free-balling in those shorts on the beach. Much more....um, impressive. Just sayin'.

A writer talking about genitals is a close relation to us discussing the jib in his sails here.

Geez, that blog does nothing but write about stuff like that, about lots of celebs.

Nay wrote:

A writer talking about genitals is a close relation to us discussing the jib in his sails here.

I get your point, but I'm not sure I completely agree. No one's claiming to be any kind of reporter/journalist here. We're just people having fun commenting on a forum.

But I love the "jib in his sails" expression. A new one for me I'll have to remember.

LadyNOLA wrote:

No one's claiming to be any kind of reporter/journalist here.

We're talking about the writer of the celebitchy article/blog.

Leave it to me to point out the obvious. (it's my main talent)

Presumably, he's been in the water.
Sea water is cold.
Nuff said,

Cold and pickled.

Ah yes, Shara, there's a Seinfeld episode for any everyday situation you can encounter: